AGAINST THE GALLOP

Like many great artists, Currado Malaspina’s best work comes from a place of profound agony. Beneath the fat-headed grandiloquence is a vulnerable romantic cautiously frisking a cruel world in search of hope. While his public persona might be that of a callous, flashy libertine, his true nature is tender, loving and kind.

I should know because I spent four unforgettable years living and loving this legendary French artist.

One of the rich, corrective dividends of being an ex is that when one carefully tills the furrows of past discord, a true, intimate friendship can develop and grow.

Such is the case with Currado and me. It is my privilege to be taken into Malaspina’s confidence and though I find myself giving much more than I get there is something quite special in having an intimate perspective into the creative genius of one of today’s greatest artists.

As is well documented, Currado Malaspina has (so far) been married four times. Each marriage is accompanied by scandal, prurient speculation, salacious innuendo and idle fodder suggesting all manner of copulatory madness outside the sacred sanctuary of wedlock. The truth, as is often the case, is much simpler.

When Currado decides to love he loves hard and any thought of straying from the orchard is happily obliterated. Take it from me – When it comes to fidelity, Malaspina is a Saint Bernard. Women sense this about him and women being women he therefore gets treated like a dust cloth.

Wife number one gave birth to a beautiful daughter – Sabine Héloïse – and within six months ran off with her yoga teacher to Goa to study Ashtanga breathing techniques from an Israeli guru named Alon.

Wife two, a very talented pastry chef and not-too-talented actress tried to lure him away from his studio with any number of hair-brained, get-rich schemes. Currado has about as much business acumen as a toddler selling lemonade and the two of them got so buried in debt that he was forced to exhibit some of his most unmemorable works. Fortunately the name Malaspina carries enough caché that armies of credulous collectors came barking with euros.

#2 eventually sued for divorce and was awarded more than half of his existing oeuvre.

With wife three came with the promise of blissful tranquility and mutual adoration until she got sucked into a Belgian messianic sewing circle.. The way Currado tells it, she turned forty and decided overnight that the most important thing in life was “personal rapture.”

It was there where she learned how to use the cumbersome neologism ‘defoliating opportunity,‘  (opporunité défoliante).

Forgetting for a minute the sinister connection to clearing  jungle war zones with toxic herbicides, the idea is essentially to annihilate any self-critical, introspective insights in favor of unambiguous affirmation. It’s a clever form of denial which tends to treat psychic pain with a Bugs Bunny Band Aid. To the philosopher in Currado this sort of linguistic floor-bending was maddening.

He left the infantilized #3 the day she took him to her Renewal Assignment Ceremony where each guest was presented with a brightly colored ball of yarn and was encouraged to “exchange anguish points” with the person seated next to them.

 Wife number four, who some say resembles a younger version of me, is an attorney who works in the French ministère du budget, des comptes publics et de l’administration civile. By all accounts she’s a very competent bureaucrat who performs her duties with diligence and integrity. I think that by marrying Currado she hoped to establish her credibility as a formidable woman of culture, a quality of some value among the Parisian haute bourgeoisie. As one might expect, she’s a rather cold fish and treats Malaspina like a household appliance.

I know he’s dying inside – he as much as told me so when I visited him last summer.

Currado is a good man. He’s a man in very close contact with the world of the senses. He values love above all else and celebrates its possibility with childish optimism.

Critics are quick to over-interpret his art, seeing in his lurid images hints of bitterness, vulgarity, misogyny and lust. That was never really the case. Malaspina’s work has always been about humor, poetry and joy. What some see as badly drawn soft pornography he sees as a post-modern exegesis on Ovid’s evolving relationship to the history of painting.

 Perhaps he’s doomed. Perhaps he’s one more reckless romantic, crushed on the asphalt of our age of monotonous velocity. He’s a voluptuary on a vélo while an unreflecting, routinized world is obsessed with the predictable seductions of speed.

I’m waiting till his current bride overplays her precious hand. She doesn’t deserve such a rare beacon of decency. I’m waiting, Currado and I’m ready to give us another chance.

Je t’aime, mon amour …

BRANDING IN AN AGE OF SENSUAL DEFICIT

Seen through a jaundiced 21st Century lens I suppose we’d characterize the Van Gogh brand as Crazy. During a simpler, quainter time when I was studying painting in art school fancy words like ‘discourse,’ ‘dialectic’ and ‘disjunctive’ were bandied about as if their definitions were self-evident. Now the talk is all about marketing.

Maybe the professors are still filling disinterested ears with Laconian linguistics but the students, I can assure you, are just fidgeting with their i-phones.

That said, us oldsters have to keep up with the times and if that means maintaining an Instagram account then so be it.

My dear friend and erstwhile lover Currado Malaspina has always, as the French say, “seen beyond the baguette.” In a very unassuming and innocent fashion he’s been cultivating his own brand for years. Now he’s ready to exploit it to its fullest effect.

So to Caravaggio’s Thug, Modigliani’s Tubercular, Pollock’s Alcoholic and Warhol’s Androgynic we can now add Currado Malaspina’s Priapic Olympiad!

My sister Hope knows all about this stuff. You might say she’s a full-time branding self improver. Her library at home is stacked with books on how to distinguish oneself and get ahead. Leaders Eat Last shares a long, sagging shelf with Principles of Corporate Governance, Executive Power Moves, Time Management for Dummies and Perfect Mindset for Team Motivators.

Why waste valuable time with Proust when you can learn all about the habits of highly effective people between the glossy soft covers of a remaindered trade paperback?

I’m not exactly sure what Hope does for a living but I can tell she really loves it. She gets so animated whenever she recounts some tawdry tale of inter-office intrigue that I truly believe it has a weird erotic effect upon her. She works for a mid-sized corporation whose interpersonal ecosystem has the same sort of social suffocation of a small provincial college. As a result there is never any shortage of fodder for petty, political machination and drama.

Our immigrant parents were world-class lunatics who considered praise an unseemly form of extravagance. I think that’s why Hope is so drawn to the corporate structure of reward and affirmation. Being a manager is very gratifying to her and I know it means a lot when she receives encouraging compliments form her boss and from her peers.

It’s funny because we had the same exact childhood but I guess some people are perpetually triggered by the misadventures of their imperfect past.

Anyway, Currado has met my sister several times and though he finds her insufferably boring he’s at the same time quite taken by her desperate need to fit in and belong. He claims that this fetish to conform is a uniquely American phenomenon but any close reading of European history would strongly argue otherwise.

But Currado being Currado, Hope’s hopeful hopelessness has given him what he thinks will be a million dollar idea. Using my sister as a microcosm of an entire continent’s Calvinist restraint, he’s certain that an urgent craving for pleasure and lassitude lies nascent beneath the surface. Recognizing that there’s a puritanical allergy toward spontaneity he’s devised a codified template to address what he sees as a national spiritual malaise

And so began Currado’s now famous 10 Habits of Extremely Contented and Well-Cultivated People. Focusing on the California model of naive optimism and maximalist aspiration, his gimmick is the promise of happiness through rote. Follow his breezy, uncomplicated steps and you too can enjoy life like a Parisian!

It’s as absurd as it is successful but rather than take my word for it, judge for yourself. What follows, in short form, are his 10 sequential conditions for bliss, legitimized by the imprimatur of notable and respected celebrities:

1. Eat well and in heathy moderation. (Gerard Depardieu)
2. Spend time with friends and cultivate the art of argument and conversation. (Orestia Shestov)
3. Dolce Far Niente. (Albert Camus)
4. Enjoy sex. (Serge Gainsbourg)
5. Drink 0.40 liters of wine a day. (James Mayer Rothschild)
6. Read fiction and attend the theatre regularly. (Micah Carpentier)
7. Pursue sex. (Philippe Soupault)
8. Be honest – there’s less to remember. (Mark Twain)
9. Laugh as much as possible. (Valéry Giscard d’Estaing)
10. Develop a talent for sexual intimacy. (Henry Miller)

Yes, I know it’s stupid and I know it’s a gimmick but I honestly think that Currado is on to something. Americans are addicted to lists. They also easily defer to what they think are experts. In their obedience they will undoubtedly follow his manifesto and just like all good citizens, when they fail they will only blame themselves.

What could be a better brand than blind obeisance?!

THE FALLEN PETALS OF INNOCENCE

During those two dank Parisian years when, as a besotted young babe I was lured by the romance of acting the muse to a much older man, I learned much about life even as I suffered.

Barely beyond a waif I ventured to the City of Lights in search of an affordable master’s degree in International Relations. My French was poor and my street smarts were abominable.

I said oui when I should have said pas de tout and peut-être when va te faire foutre would have been the wiser choice.

I was what the local wags called a “Gallic trampoline” (trampoline gauloise) and when I finally landed under the scruff of Malaspina I was too worn out to move on.

And so began my life as ornament, the perky American trinket, trimming the already exotic aura of France’s number one art star of the time.

Portrait of Malaspina, watercolor on paper, Micah Carpentier, 1993

I basically put my life on hold in favor of his, in spite of the fact that his was more or less spent. We went to the wickedest parties, ate at the most exotic out-of-the-way bistros, travelled to the most dangerously picturesque places and basically lived the life of extravagant bohemia.

And I loved it!

I loved every spicy speck of couscous, each thimble of pastis, every remote mosquito infested equatorial island and even the never ending international art openings where I was flaunted like a palm laurel.

The only thing I didn’t love was Currado Malaspina.

Oh, those nasty details.

Living under the shadow of a powerful talented man was about as spiritually capacious as a cubicle. I was browbeaten by his bluster, silenced by his self-indulgence.

Creatively, I was a wreck. It seemed like my every thought had already been processed and nullified by the great and wise Currado. His snide, censorious stares quashed whatever agency I thought I had earned as a bright and expressive college student. Did my parents really invest all that money so that I would end up being a comely bauble for a Frenchy-French big shot?

When I finally moved back to Los Angeles it took graduate school and several therapists to purge the fois gras from my Yankee soul.

There’s nothing like hideous urban planning to restore one’s artistic confidence and give a young person the strength to endure.

A SHORT LESSON IN HISTORY

The art of bad photography is a lot harder than it seems. Within the holy trinity of Instagram, Tumblr and Twitter there lies an elusive aesthetic of militant conformity that is easy to see but much more difficult to master.

Beside the boilerplate of nature and food our glutted bank of collective imagery contains shoes, hair, architecture, street signs, headlines, animals, manicures and billions and billions and billions of small children. To someone trained in the visual arts the monotony can be a bit staggering.

To my former boyfriend, the French Marxist painter Currado Malaspina the democratization of photography is a very positive social phenomenon that is well worth watching. To dismiss it all as an empty expression of desperate narcissism is to risk losing a valuable opportunity in studying a societal/aesthetic shift that is practically unprecedented.  Not since the 18th century when Faber-Castell began mass producing pencils have we seen such a massive wave of graphic amateurism.

On a recent trip to to the Bavarian town of Schwanstetten where the first wooden graphite stump appeared in 1646, Currado discovered in the archives of the municipal library thousands upon thousands of crude drawings of precisely the types of things regularly posted on Facebook and Pinterest.

Bratwurst and sauce, pencil on paper, anonymous, 17th century

It seems that various forms of social media image sharing has been around a lot longer than we care to admit. Currado goes even further in asserting that the cave paintings of Lasceaux are nothing more than daily “posts” representing the unsubstantiated claims of third-rate hunters.

To Malaspina the imagery is a form of Paleolithic branding, the sort of reputational inflation one sees on business résumés and Linkedin profiles. Instead of wild claims of fluency in Latin and concert-level musicianship, the artists of Lasceaux were asserting their unlikely expertise in animal husbandry.

To those who ridicule the digital age for its superficiality Currado wags an admonishing emoticon. To make hash of the hashtag is like snubbing one’s nose at 750,000 years of glorious human mediocrity.

THE EMPTY HAND OF THE HEART

“The righteous suffer stoically while the vain refrain from all inhibition”

So wrote Alphonse Zhekunin (translation mine), the 19th century poète maudit famous for his light verse on dark subjects. I can’t think of a better summery of the emotional maturity of the well-known French painter Currado Malaspina.

To Currado grief is less a hardship than an opportunity. To be struck by misfortune is to be handed a license for mawkish self-indulgence. When the Parisian paparazzi caught him cavorting with Princess Tzipora Al-Tzina of El Dahfra he responded with a series of histrionic screeds of such venomous proportion even the vindictive Al-Tzina family were shocked in silence.

Princess Tzipora Al-Tzina with Malaspina

His dalliances are always accompanied by drama. A meddling concierge all too eager to stir up a scandalous ragoût positioned a camera across from Currado’s atleier and snapped hundreds of pictures until she landed upon something vaguely edible.

The press would have remained indifferent (this is France, after all) but Malaspina cried foul so loudly they were forced to publish the unincriminating photographs.

I think that at heart Currado is a romantic but within the thick miasma of his disfunction he can only express his longings as melodrama.

After all, isn’t this the same Currado who not so long ago painted this lovely double portrait of the two of us?

POLITESSE IS FOR LES OISEAUX

There is something so exhilarating about indignation. Feigned, righteous or otherwise, being pissed is good for the circulation. Having grown up in the midwest it took me a while to figure this out. Meeting the French painter Currado Malaspina teased the corn husks out of my hair and turned me toward the true path of artistic ire, resentment, petty rivalry and professional wrath.

“There’s nothing like a good, mean-spirited intellectual brawl full of ad hominem attacks, libelous invective, empty threats and punishing assertions bordering upon the precipice of conventional civility.”

That’s how he put it to me years ago after he took me to a party at the studio of one of his oldest friends, the sculptor René Lacarte.

He and Lacarte were old school chums with as many shared memories as shared mistresses. Their friendship was as durable as one of Lacarte’s monumental cor-ten steel sculptures and it allowed them to communicate with a callous and sometimes brutal candor.

Currado had just completed an exhibition of large-scale works on paper, the subject of which, many critics observed, bordered on the gratuitously sleazy.

Currado vigorously defended his work claiming that considering the contemporary absence of any normative taboos they were as innocuous as a pastoral vista of Ruisdael and as void of provocation as a Madonna by Zurbarán. Lacarte countered that Ruisdael was far from innocuous and Zurbarán is as highly charged today as he was in the 17th century. He called Currado ‘un mauvais menteur‘ a French insult that is far more wounding than calling someone in English a bad liar.

The party ended with blows, broken bottles and dramatic declarations of permanent war.

I was shocked.

The next morning René joined us for croissants at Café Procope as if nothing had happened.

And in fact, nothing had.

Pro Phylacteries

Though I vehemently advised him against it, in early 2002, Currado Malaspina, the French painter known for his depictions of voluptuary, unhindered and at times deviant sexuality began experimenting with geometric abstraction.

Mon Ami Foucault, oil on linen, 314 x 1270 centimeters, Currado Malaspina 2002

And as if that wasn’t enough, all the paintings he completed at that time were done en grisaille!

It was as if the Marquis de Sade had suddenly decided a to publish a cookbook.

Why this unexpected turn of events? There were many theories floating around at the time ranging from rumors of a withering libido to an irrational infatuation with the United States. Whatever the motives, the public wasn’t buying. He was pilloried by the press, ignored by the critics and spurned by his faithful coterie of collectors.

Finding himself in a professional diaspora, Malaspina turned inward and began a long-standing flirtation with the Baha’i faith, an interest which continues to this day.

He has since abandoned non-objective painting and has returned to the semi-smutty style that has earned him his notorious reputation.

But he has never forgotten his love of Haifa, the center of the Baha’i faith. And while many of his rock star friends insist on boycotting the Jewish State he still occasionally returns to Israel for short visits. He especially enjoys early morning visits to the Wailing Wall.

I think  he gets a little turned on by all the leather.

THE UNGIFTED CHILD

Childhood is everything. The map of our characters is indelibly drawn by the time we reach puberty. We carry the baggage of our upbringing like a battered trunk and just when we think we’ve successfully discarded its contents at some distantly remote bus station or railway yard, there comes FedEx returning the torn familiar vault of our nagging inconvenient past only to be sorted again, repacked and safely stored away.

Malaspina in Cannes, 2009 (Courtesy of Presse IPM)

The French artist Currado Malaspina and I were lovers between the spring of 1998 when I was a 22 year-old graduate student till the winter of 2001. In that time I witnessed both his brilliant courage and his brittle insecurity. I’ve thought a great deal about those distant years and they have served as a cautionary tale regarding my own development as an artist. You see, Currado and I, though over twenty years apart in age, are very similar and those eerie similarities are what pulled us apart.

Currado’s father, Sordello Malaspina was a Roma musician of moderate ability and exaggerated pretension. Like my own father his imprint was the result of his absence rather than his influence. The course of Malaspina’s career has been one long search for his missing father’s approval. I know scores and scores of artists but I never met anyone who curated their reputation as carefully as Currado. It was never important whether his work was any good what mattered most was how it was perceived.

Untitled monotype, Currado Malaspina 1998

The esteem of critics, the admiration from peers, the cultivation of curators and the ultimate validation of the marketplace are the abiding values that guide his practice. One could easily argue that his fawning obsequiousness was the perfect recipe for his success. His spineless scraping and his cowering flatteries have brought about strategic alliances that are the envy of his more talented contemporaries. There is no boot too insignificant to lick, no backside too inconsequential to kiss. His relentless search for a faded father’s love has contorted his character into nothing but an appetite where naked desire denies him him of the possibility of any real depth.

Dahlia Danton, 2013

I hope I can elude Currado’s sad, despicable pathologies. The burdens of our past are the stones in our pockets drawing us down into the well of unrelenting despair. The only possible antidote is the authentic genius of real competence and for that one needs discipline. Malaspina is a lost cause. For me there still may be some hope.

HABIT

Like many people, Currado Malaspina’s sense of optimism and personal well-being is intimately tied to the daily evacuation of his bowels. Nothing restores his faith in himself and his place in the world like a quick and unencumbered movement. He typically visits the lavatory a few short minutes after completing his second cup of early morning swiss-pressed coffee. He joins neither book nor newspaper to this enterprise preferring the prompt efficiency of concentrated effort and determined resolve.

I know all this because I was living with him in Paris in the late 1990’s and I witnessed all his circadian habits with the bemused scrutiny of an amateur anthropologist. Currado would express to me all his strongly held views on his personal hygiene thinking that this kind of intense  intimacy could somehow replace the more risky, emotional kind. His scatological obsessions were strictly physiological and he suffered little levity in the matter. He was easily offended by jokes and despite the easy accessibility of hilarious material Currado remained stoic in the face of puns, hostile to sarcasm and impervious to irony.

I once sent him a small water closet watercolor and inscribed the back with the famous aphorism from Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil: “Objections, evasions, cheerful mistrust, and love of mockery are indications of health: everything absolute belongs with pathology.”

He promptly sent it back to me with his own favorite Nietzschean citation: “Honesty is the great temptress of all fanatics,”  adding menacingly in bold red ink “Sois prudente ma coquinette!”

Lesson learned.

When it comes to great men of uncanny genius never underestimate the vital necessity of ritual.

VACANCE

Paysage 14, Currado Malaspina, 2013

Every August, like every decent citizen of the Republic, Currado Malaspina heads south to the famous French regions of leisure and repose. For one full month he manages to forget that he is Malaspina the provocateur and becomes the gentleman that still manages to lie nascent within him.

Gone are the skanky silhouettes of sweat and steamy sex that have become the Malaspina brand. Summer is the time to spread the stiff legs of a workman’s easel and get busy sur le motif.

Paysage 21, Currado Malaspina, 2013

In August what stands erect for Currado Malaspina are Aleppo pines, scrubby holm oak and groves and groves of olive trees. His pictures are redolent with the suggestive scents of anémone des jardins, seven-leaf cardamine, cowslip and clove.

August is when Currado becomes the true, virtuous romantic, free from the flagrant puerility that has earned him his name.

I love to visit Currado in the summer. His house just outside of Bonnieux is an oasis of courtly refinement and European civility.

And he never lets me lift a finger.